Monday, January 5, 2015

The Sad, Beautiful Truth

Gia P had an emotional breakdown tonight. Like the kind we haven't seen for months. Like the kind where she cried inconsolably.

But, there was one difference.

This time, she could tell me why she was crying.

It had been a lazy day. It was supposed to have been the first day back to school after a much needed and enjoyed 2-week Christmas break. Somewhat unexpectedly, we got the news this morning that today was a snow day.

Gia was the only one disappointed.

I suspect that may have had something to do with her breakdown later on. But only just a little.

Before dinner, she was looking through the Journey to Gia blog book that we made a couple of months ago. She loves going through it, looking at the pictures, and telling us things about "my China."

So, I didn't think anything of it when she pointed to the picture in the book. The one I used to worry about her seeing. The one she's looked at many times since without much of an emotional reaction.

Shu Mei. Her best friend.

She didn't show much of a reaction at this time either, except to smile.

We had a pleasant dinner and cleaning up time, and then baths began.

Simon usually does baths around here so that I can relax after making and cleaning up dinner. He came to me in the family room to tell me that Gia started crying just out of the blue and he didn't know why.

I waited for her to come down to me. I could tell she was teary eyed and still "on the verge."  I asked her what was the matter, and she replied.

4 little words. 4 of the hardest words in the world.

"I miss Shu Mei."

And she basically melted into my lap and let me hold her while she sobbed.

I was thankful and heart broken at the same time.

Heartbroken for the lost friendship...the lost life...that this little girl has endured and continues to endure.

Thankful that she could tell me why she was sad and that I could do my best to comfort her and pray for her.

This is real. This is the sad, beautiful truth of adoption.

And it is hard.

Thank you, Jesus, that you have felt the exact feelings of grief and loss that our Gia feels.

And that you are the Wonderful Counselor who binds up her wounds and wipes away her tears.


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