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Showing posts from October, 2018

Malleability

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The other day, we had a marathon session at Shriner’s with our youngest. She
went through a pretty hellish surgery/recovery a little over a year ago, from which
she still suffers PTSD. (She gets freaked out thinking that the doctors had to cut
her to fix her hips.) Anyway, at one point during our session, she saw her x-rays
with a large screw in one hip. For some reason, that screw caused her to get really
quiet and sad. She was even brushing tears off her cheeks at one point. When I pulled
her close to me and asked what she was feeling, she said “mommy, I don’t remember
any China words.” From there, she went to several other statements about her life in
China...her “old” mom, dad, and brother, to…"I miss my China friends.”

You see, in the adoption community, and often from outside it, we hear or are told that
our kids are resilient. That they can bounce back from the trauma they’ve faced, and
that the lives they have now can somehow erase or make up for their traumatic
experience…