Posts

Malleability

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The other day, we had a marathon session at Shriner’s with our youngest. She went through a pretty hellish surgery/recovery a little over a year ago, from which she still suffers PTSD. (She gets freaked out thinking that the doctors had to cut her to fix her hips.) Anyway, at one point during our session, she saw her x-rays with a large screw in one hip. For some reason, that screw caused her to get really quiet and sad. She was even brushing tears off her cheeks at one point. When I pulled her close to me and asked what she was feeling, she said “mommy, I don’t remember any China words.” From there, she went to several other statements about her life in China...her “old” mom, dad, and brother, to…"I miss my China friends.” You see, in the adoption community, and often from outside it, we hear or are told that our kids are resilient. That they can bounce back from the trauma they’ve faced, and that the lives they have now can somehow erase or make up for their traum

Humility

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When we first adopted Gladdie, no...I have to go back further. When we first got a doctor's opinion on Gladdie's file, before we'd even met her, and knowing that she walked with a severe limp, I assumed that hip surgery would be in her future. And to be honest, it terrified me. It was honestly my worst fear in this entire adoption...her, at age 8, being stuck in a body cast for weeks on end...unable to walk, play, swim, bathe, or use the toilet. It was scary. I think the Lord had some mercy on me, though, because when I first heard the word "surgery," it was way last October. I had months to plan and prepare for it. I remember thinking: It's all for Gladdie. She will be so much stronger for this. She will be better for this. It's better to do this now than wait until she's older. Let's just get it over with and allow her to move on in life. Surgery went well. We were out of the hospital in 2 days. Her pain seemed very minimal, and

Robes of Righteousness

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We met Gladys Mae 7 weeks and 4 days ago. That's 53 days total. For over 40 of those days, Gladdie refused to wear anything but her Gotcha Day outfit. We knew (mostly) the "why" of this phenomenon. For the days in China, we decided to just let it ride. Her entire world was changing, and this ONE thing was all that she could control. Plus, she was grieving HARD for her "mama," and I think these clothes gave her comfort in her grief. Once we arrived home, we hoped that she would embrace her new life with as much vigor as she grieved her old. She kind of did. But not with her clothes. She clung to those things for days...and days...and weeks...and weeks. My parents came to visit in early June...we'd been home for a few weeks by that point. My mom said that Gladdie's Gotcha outfit was starting to look a little worn out. I totally agreed. And it brought to my mind again an idea that had been swirling around in there since China. Her cli

We Will Walk

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Gladdie Mae went 27 days in a row wearing her Gotcha outfit. We started kidding with each other...making bets for how long she’d hold out. Then came Sunday. She didn’t change out of her pjs all day. Then Monday, the same. Then Tuesday, the same. We Thought, HOPed, PRAYED that she was turning a corner in her trust and acceptance of us. Could it finally be? Then, that tiny sliver of sunlight was shut out when the window slammed down this morning. She got dressed in her Gotcha outfit. Once again. I’m not going to lie. I was upset. I melted down. Partly from pride/jealousy. (Am I not enough for her? Why can’t she love me like she loves her foster mama?) Partly from inconvenience. (Geez, now I’m going to have to wash this outfit every night again!) But mostly from a broken heart...for my daughter. Here she is, having just had the rug pulled out from under her. Her entire world topsy-turvy.  She’s trying to make sense of it all by clinging for dear life to t

Re-Entry

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In the adoption community, the act of returning home after an international adoption, and all that ensues, is referred to as re-entry. It can be some of the HARDEST days of the process. So far, our re-entry has been pretty smooth. But I digress. Let me start at the beginning of the end. We last posted about our last day in China. We were pretty ready to get home. But, we were kind of dreading the trip. Just a LOT of logistics with a LOT of kids. LOL We had a very early wake-up...3:45 for Simon and me and 4:30 for the Gs. We met our guide in the hotel lobby at 5 am. We couldn't believe how quiet the lobby was! Although we did see a few all night party-ers coming "home" at that time. The ride to the airport was uneventful, but our guide told us a couple times that they have had "many problems" with similar flight schedules as ours was that day. So I was a bit apprehensive. If I had known what was coming, I would have high-tailed it right back to the hot

Gladdie--Day 11--The Wonderful, Heartbreaking, Beautiful Story

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The last full day of our China trips are always #bittersweet. We want to absorb as much of the culture that we can while not stressing ourselves out before our BIG day of travel. As Simon mentioned earlier, it's so #bittersweet. If I think about it too much, I might start to weep. This is Gladdie's last full day in her birth country...the country she's lived in for 7 years. The language, food, people, and smells that she's used to. This is the last day she will experience all those. We are blessed that each of the other Gs have been able to re-visit the land of their birth. But who knows what the future holds? We have no idea if Gladdie will ever have the opportunity to return to her birth land again. Thus, it's #bittersweet. We awoke late and had a leisurely breakfast at the amazing hotel buffet. We lingered and fed the koi both in the upper AND lower ponds. We had some nice downtime in our apartment, starting to pack and try