Vandalgrads

Happy Year of the Dragon!!!

2012-01-26T18:43:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is a wonderful opportunity for us to help the Gs celebrate a little bit of their heritage. So we see it as a special day in our house. The girls each wore one of their pretty silk dresses (qi paos) for the day.

And we made these pretty lanterns. Easy, fun, and lovely.

We had a yummy dinner of orange chicken, noodles and veggies, egg rolls, and oranges. Notice the girls are using their chopsticks!

This was my (unsuccessful) attempt at making fortune cookies.


These are the fortunes in the above cookies. Gracie wrote them. :)

Happy Chinese New Year!

Gong Xi Fa Cai (Mandarin)

Gong Hey Fat Choy (Cantonese)

恭禧發財

Front teeth are overrated

2012-01-16T19:39:00.000-08:00

It is not uncommon with international adoptions (and China in particular) for the children to have unhealthy teeth. Gracie had some really bad teeth. She needed oral surgery when she was 4. It was not good. Since then, though, her teeth have maintained a healthy status quo. So when Gemma came along, we were totally prepared for some bad teeth. Imagine our surprise when, at her first dental visit in December, she only had 1 cavity!! Surely that was too good to be true. Alas, it WAS too good to be true. That one cavity was on a front tooth that was abscessed and would need to come out. Sigh. Okay. We can handle this. After all, it's MUCH less work than poor little Gracie had to get done. So, today was the big day for Gemma to become toothless.

AFTER

I think you'll agree with me that she's pretty much the cutest toothless 4-year-old around. :)

Three Christmases, two amphibians, and one Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas #1 begins early on Christmas morning at Grandma and Grandpa Peterson's house.

Amy's Grandma Lundberg met Gemma for the first time.

Great Grandma and all the kids sang "Jingle Bells" together. It was heartwarming!

Gemma "won" these glasses in the annual Peterson Christmas Bingo game.

Simon's cousin--Christian Duhamel--played multiple roles in Seattle Children's Theatre's production of A Year With Frog and Toad. He graciously invited us to be his guests, and the girls LOVED it!

Christmas #2 occurred at Grandma Dee's house in Kellogg on Dec. 29.

Christmas #3 happened on Dec. 31, at Great Grandma Perry's and Great Grandpa Jim's house in Kellogg. We also celebrated 2012 there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The whole gang

My beauties

2011 was a blessed--albeit a whirlwind!--year. The biggest change was adding our precious Gemma to the family. God is so good! We are reminded every day how His plan for our lives is perfect, and how He handpicked Gemma for us, and us for Gemma. We hope your 2012 is a year filled with God's promises for your life! God bless you!

Waiting For Normal....

2012-01-03T00:16:00.000-08:00

Despite Christmas Break being far from a "break" most of the time, (we have been busier on break than we are normally!) I've had some spontaneous moments of reflection where I have found myself marveling at how drastically our family has changed since this Summer and how much has transpired since August. I have to admit that writing is not my forte, thus I struggle with how to frame this post. So many thoughts and emotions have engulfed me that I find myself needing to come up with a way to capture them to make writing about them later an easier task.

The title of this post is the best way I could sum up my feelings about the last 5 months of 2011 as so much has happened. Further, I find myself several times throughout the day wondering if I really experienced the last 5 months or if I am dreaming. It is quite surreal to say the least. It is not until I stop and remind myself that we brought another person into our family that I realize the magnitude of the events that we have experienced and considered their impact on all of us in a myriad of ways. To my best ability things seemed to enter this "blur" mode when we took Gracie to Silverwood for a reward as part of her reading program in the previous school year. It was that very day (I remember Amy telling me we got TA as Gracie and I played in the water park) that things went into warp speed.

From that moment on, it has been a deluge of emotions, challenges, successes, failures, and milestones. As I live these events I've needed to constantly remind myself to live in the moment and stop waiting for things to feel "normal" again. But then a few hours go by and I fail to do this resulting in a variety of unwanted outcomes. I'll spare the details but simply say that I'm thankful for grace being given to me by God, my wife, Gracie, Gemma, and other friends and family. I've posted about wanting "do overs" previously and I still have those moments. Although I don't subscribe to "New Year Resolutions," I have used the ringing in of 2012 (gasp) to refocus as much as I can and continually remind myself of perspective and taking things one day at a time, as opposed to waiting for normal.

As we kick off 2012, I wanted to highlight a few things that have impacted us since the latest chapter began last August.

Despite Gemma being diagnosed in China as "Developmentally Delayed," we continue to be pleasantly surprised at how alert, bright, and animated she is. The more comfortable she becomes with us the more her personality comes out! (understatement) It is exponentially different/better than I anticipated on August 15 for sure!
Not only has big sisterhood been more challenging than Gracie anticipated, but it's been equally challenging to Amy and me as well. (Gracie is a wonderful big sister, it's just harder than she could have ever envisioned!)
In relation to the sisterhood point, I'm amazed at how rapidly Gracie and Gemma truly behave as sisters, both good and bad. They are competitive with each other and you would think they have been together for years seeing how they interact.
I am amazed at how much more work it is (physically and emotionally) to have 2 children as opposed to one. It's definitely more than 2X the work! (and more than 2X the love) People with more than 2 children truly have my admiration. It's wonderful to see how everyone has different feelings and preferences in this are.
Speaking of amazement, I am still in awe at how Gemma adapts and fits right in with our family! She is such a brave girl!

I can't end this post without writing about how inspired and moved I am by my wife Amy's heart for adoption, motherhood, and her faith. I am continually amazed at her devotion and compassion in these endeavors. I'm amazingly blessed to have her as my wife.

As we face 2012 head on, ready or not, I will continue to emphasize and focus on not "waiting for normal."

Sunday Snapshot

2011-12-18T19:30:00.001-08:00

First time decorating Christmas cookies since coming home with her forever family in August.

Christmas Joys (lots of pictures)!!

2011-12-18T12:55:00.001-08:00

We decided to cut our own Christmas tree this year. Here we are at the Rusty Gate Tree Farm...about 45 minutes from home.

The cousins "ride" on the tree.

The girls "help" dad carry the tree to the car.

We visited the "North Pole" (in Coeur d'Alene) and saw this beautiful display of lights.

Gemma's first time decorating a Christmas tree!

She's putting on her own ornament.

Gracie gets to place the angel on the top!

Gracie and her BFF at her school's Christmas concert.

A little nervous just moments before showtime.

Owen and Gemma anxiously await the music.

Gracie in action!

Sisters after the show.

Next it's Gemma's turn...in front of the tree at her school's Christmas concert.

Gemma had quite a bit of stage fright and didn't sing much. But we're proud of her for hanging in there and standing with her class through all of the songs!!

I think she was relieved when it was all over.

Gracie loves to frost cookies!

She's showing Gemma how to do it.

Gemma's turn!

Gemma's cookies

Gracie's cookies

Both girls were in our church's Christmas program this year.

Still has some stage fright...

Gracie sang beautifully!!

4 months--what a transformation!!!!!

2011-12-15T09:39:00.001-08:00

Gotcha Day was 4 months ago today. It was a rough day. Not gonna lie. Simon and I both expressed recently that we had some grave doubts about Gemma's transition into our family because of how hard that day was. We were in it for the long haul no matter what--we just had fears that her attachment would be HARD.

But I underestimated God's power and the prayers of His people. He was at work in Gemma--and in us--the second we met. Even before. And slowly, but surely...

Gemma started to warm up to us; come out of her shell; trust us. If I had known how WELL she would be doing just 4 short months in our family, I could have lived through A HUNDRED Gotcha Days. Thank you, Jesus!

This smiling, funny, precious little girl is just a beautiful flower--opening more and more each day. God is so good. All.the.time.

Favorite Things

2011-12-02T10:04:00.000-08:00

I copied this idea from a couple of other blogs I read. But I thought it was a cute idea, so I decided to do my own version of "Favorite Things." Maybe it will give you some Christmas ideas for the women in your life.

This is my ABSOLUTE GO TO hoodie. It's cute, soft and comfy, and it spreads the Word of God to whomever reads it. You can find it--and lots of other CUTE tees--at wildolivetees.com.

This is my favorite makeup/foundation from Bare Escentuals. Yes, it's pricey. BUT...I only have to order it once every 6 months, so the price averages out to be similar to some other foundations I've tried in the past. It's a powder/cream that sits lightly on the skin and blends very well. Love it!

My favorite eye shadow is Physician's Formula "Canyon Classics." It has 4 shades in the brown family that have a little sparkle to them. I love to use the darkest shade to line my eyes, and then fill the rest of my eyelid in with the lightest--highlight--shade.

The BEST candy, in my opinion, is Jelly Belly jelly beans. I could sit and eat these, literally, for hours on end. They.are.so.good. I even used cups of them as table decorations at my wedding reception. :)

These are my new favorite boots. They are the "Cardy" boot from Uggs. Yes, these are pricey, too. BUT...so warm, fashionable, and pretty darn cute!!

The ALL TIME BEST lip color comes from Burt's Bees. It's called Lip Shimmer, and it's all natural. (BTW, my favorite shade of lip shimmer--Toffee--is no longer manufactured. :( But the shade--Cocoa--comes in a close second.)

This is my go to hairspray. I can buy it for under $3 at Walm*rt. And it even holds my thick hair without getting gross and clumpy. Love, love, love it!

Okay, I guess that's enough of my favorite things for now. Hope you have a very blessed Christmas season! And happy shopping. :)

Let us not forget the children who are all alone this Christmas

2011-11-30T21:45:00.000-08:00

This is such a great song for the season!

http://youtu.be/TX876kp0jBQ

True Thankfulness

2011-11-24T11:49:00.000-08:00

Today I am most thankful for the transformation that has occurred in my precious 4-year-old...whose eyes were empty and full of sorrow on Gotcha Day...

...but are now happy, joyful, smiling eyes; and for the God who made that happen.

I could not be more thankful.

How Could You NOT??

2011-11-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

I ask you to read this woman's blog post and watch the video. Then I challenge you to give one good reason why you CAN'T adopt an orphan.

http://godspromisetocaleb.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2010-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2011-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=8

Embroidery

2011-11-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

I remember reading in Our Daily Bread on Gemma's Gotcha Day how the whole earth--all of creation--is God's embroidery for us--also His creation--to enjoy. I remember thinking about embroidery on that Gotcha Day--which seems So.Long.Ago. On that day, God was "knitting" our family together by adding 1 more to it. Since then, and every day from here until He returns, he will continue to "knit" us together as a family and to "knit" us together with other believers as part of His family.

Part of this "knitting together" took place on Sunday, November 6, 2011--Orphan Sunday. On that day, we celebrated the fact that there was ONE LESS ORPHAN in the world. We dedicated Gemma to Jesus on that day, and by so doing, we entrust Gemma to Him. We believe that he will "knit" her into our family as well as into His family. We trust that He will "bridge the gap" for her as she grows, matures, and may have questions about her abandonment and adoption. We trust Him to use us to shape, mold, and guide her to becoming the woman of God that she is destined to become.

Another awesome quality of "embroidery" on that Orphan Sunday was the fact that there were 2 other families in the congregation that day whose adoptions were imminent. In fact, one of those families leaves in less than a week to adopt their daughter. How exciting! What a tapestry God is weaving! And we get to be a part of it...extraordinary!!!

Busy October

2011-11-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

Half of our family--Simon and Gracie--have birthdays in October. Add to that pumpkin carving and trick-or-treating, and October is a BUSY month for the Millers. Simon turned the big 4-0 this year. I gotta say...he's still got it!!! ♥♥ Gracie turned 8...I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around that one. Anyway, she got to have 2 parties this year...one with her friends, and another with family. She enjoyed herself! The girls also had fun trick-or-treating with their cousin, Owen, this year. Gracie dressed up as a fairy and Gemma as a cat. Owen was Thomas the train. It was fun! Gemma wasn't quite sure what was going on at first, and by the end of the night she was so tuckered that we had to carry her to the last few houses, but as soon as she saw the candy going into her pumpkin bucket, she was on board!

Walk a mile in her shoes.

2011-11-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted a blog entry here. It is still an understatement for me to write that the last 2 months have been an intense blur of emotions, activities, successes, challenges, adjustments, struggles, triumphs, frustrations, and much more. However, the last few days, I've been reflecting on our family and how things have changed for all of us. It would be easy for me to focus on how our changes have impacted me, Amy, and Gracie, but I really want to focus on another perspective for this post.

The last couple of days, we have had a few "bumps in the road" with Gemma Lu, mostly at preschool, but around the house occasionally too. Now before you respond or react, please know that we are doing OK and we are thankful and feeling incredibly blessed with all that is happening in our family. Our two little blessings are incredible but our 2 month old journey as a forever family of 4 has not been without some challenges. As we pray and work through them as a family, I have been awestruck with just how amazing our little Gemma Lu has been through these past couple of months. Put yourself in Gemma's shoes and just imagine the following:

First of all, the only life you have known is an orphanage with lots of kids of all ages, some of them with significant special needs. You've had no mommy or daddy to give you the special love and care that you so badly desire. Sure your nannies and caregivers are wonderful but there is no substitute for a loving family. You sleep with 10-20 other children in a crowded, noisy, hot room.

Next, you are taken from the only thing you know as "home" and given to complete strangers who look nothing like you and who don't speak your language. You travel to a hotel where you remain very frightened, not knowing what is going on. Then, these two strangers pack up your limited things and bring you back and say goodbye. As if things weren't' confusing enough, now you are brought back to your orphanage, the only "family" you have ever known. Life is at least "normal" again.

A few months later, you are receiving pictures and presents from another strange couple and then like a bad dream, you are taken to a strange office again and handed over to these strangers. They don't speak your language, and they too are scared. The next few weeks are still scary, but you are becoming comfortable with your new family. It helps that you have a "Jie Jie" (older sister) and some really cool new toys to play with.

Next you take a long train ride, followed by a very scary taxi ride to another building with a room to sleep in. You are then awakened very early and board an airplane (for the first time) and then spend the next 5 and 12 hours respectively sitting in one seat with people you hardly know.

You are next greeted by a large group of people who seem excited to see you but you are still terrified. You spend 3 days in another strange building with lots of bedrooms in it and more people you don't know. Soon after that you are buckled in a seat belt and then travel 7+ hours in a car, still not understanding anything that you hear or see.

The next few weeks are a mix of new experiences, people, foods, and lifestyle, but you are really starting to love your new family. Next you are introduced to new school classmates and teachers. Again, none of them speak your language or can understand what you are saying.

Imagine all of these things happening to you. Imagine how hard it would be. Now try to imagine doing all of this at 4 years old. I wasn't sure how to frame this blog post or how to put it in a context that would illustrate just how this journey has progressed. But it was sure a Grace filled eye opener for Amy and me when we were dealing with and working through some challenges with little Gemma this week. Stop and consider all that this little girl has been through and we were instantly amazed at how incredible she is has done, and is doing every single day. Consider that even a 4 year old that can speak and understand English and has known one set of parents and siblings will most certainly have moments of disobedience, frustration, anger, and selfishness, and it is all the more amazing how Gemma Lu has progressed.

We have ups and downs just like every family. But as we start to become frustrated, tired, or even angry, we simply stop and think about everything Gemma has been through! It is so very amazing to witness how well she is doing. Once we are reminded of that perspective, it is hard not to feel even more blessed for all that we have. I cannot express adequately how much we feel God's love and Grace on us every day. I can't provide you with tangible proof; I can only tell you it is real.

Maybe I should change the title of this post to "Walk a few thousand miles in her shoes...."

Annual Trip to Greenbluff

2011-10-10T09:06:00.001-07:00

Cousins eat pumpkins doughnuts while sitting on a bale of hay. Is there anything better?

Gracie rides the pony named Gracie.

Petting the horsies.

Taking a hay ride.

Tailgate!

Riding in the "Little Toot."

Owen tried to be brave, but he decided to watch the girls instead.

Picking our pumpkins.

Caramel apple sundae. Yum!

Ending the day with a bit of coloring and follow the leader at Red Robin.

Field Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-03T16:51:00.001-07:00

I was blessed to be able to go with Gemma's class today on a visit to a nearby Fruit Farm in Greenbluff, near Spokane. The weather was glorious, the kids were well-behaved, and the apples were delicious! What a GREAT day!

Posing by the giant pumpkin

Scenes from the Pea box...that's right...PEAS! Brilliant! SOOO much easier to get out of socks, shoes, and hair than sand.

Farmer Joy takes us around the orchard in a tractor.

Looking for the perfect apple tree

I picked this apple!

First bite...YUM!

Watching apple cider being made

Waiting for "Granny Smith" to talk to us about apple butter

The preschool, kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades from SVCA

Learning a Greek dance...Oi, oi, oi!

At the pumpkin patch

I think this one's mine!

Yep!

One Month and First Day

2011-09-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

First day of preschool. The backpack is "The Pleasant Goat" from China.

Today marks the one-month anniversary of our entrance back into the USA and Gemma's citizenship day (still waiting for her certificate of citizenship). Boy were we glad to get home that day!! And all of our family waiting for us at the airport also made it a wonderful homecoming!

Today was also Gemma's first day of preschool. I attended with her, and she only stayed for half a day, but I think she really enjoyed it. We're going to ease into the preschool thing: M-W-F half days this week. Then maybe M-W-F full days next week. Then hopefully M-F full days the week after that, so that by the time I go back to work, she'll be fully acclimated to preschool life.

Moving sidewalk at Hong Kong Int'l Airport.

My friend Gayly and I say good-bye at Narita airport.

Lambie was a great traveler.

Gemma decided to fall asleep as we descended into Seattle. This is how she did it.

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!!

Do the Puyallup!!

2011-09-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

For the I-don't-know-how-many consecutive years, we made a visit to the Puyallup Fair last weekend, in Puyallup, Washington. Since my parents live in Tacoma, it's only a 15-minute drive to the fair. It was Gracie's 7th fair and Gemma's 1st. What fun was had by all! There were rides to ride, food to eat, animals to look at (and touch), sights to see, and people to watch! The weather was a tad iffy, but for the Pacific Northwest in mid-September, it wasn't too bad. Here are some pics:

Yummy Krusty Pup!!

One of us is less than thrilled by the carousel.

Watching the horse show

My turn to push

I be brave, mommy!

Maybe not so brave.

Canoe!

Giant noisemaker

Tiger coaster...Simon enjoyed it

Bale of hay

Grand prix!

New Mercies

2011-09-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

I blew it. Yep. Yesterday was not a stellar day for me. I lost my patience. I got frustrated. I let my frustration out on my child(ren). Oh sheesh. Not good. And to make matters worse, my youngest daughter cannot understand my apology. My only hope is that the Lord can translate for me and comfort her heart. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this old chorus which comes from Lamentations 3:

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end! They are new every morning; new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness, oh, Lord. Great is Thy faithfulness."

I was also reminded of these words from Paul: "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Praise God for new mercies.

Happy Gotcha Day--to Us!!!!

2011-09-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

7 years ago today we received this blessed bundle of joy in our arms for the first time. Words could not--and cannot--express how happy we were to receive Gracie Faye Aijin Miller as our first daughter.

We are so proud of the young lady she has become, and we know that God has a wonderful future planned for her. She is the light of our lives; she brings joy with a smile; her creativity and imagination astound us! Thank you, God, for this blessed, blessed little girl!

WE LOVE YOU, GRACIE!!!!!

Honesty

2011-09-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

Things are going pretty well in the Miller household. In fact, I think things with Gemma are going better than I expected. It's been a little tough this week with school starting...getting Gracie ready in the morning...not knowing if we should let Gemma sleep or get her up to say goodbye to Daddy and Jie Jie. It's a work in progress, and probably still will be for days, weeks, months, and well, let's face it...years to come.

I don't want you to think that everything is roses and sunshine (although it's been beautifully sunny and in the 90s here the last few days), because there are some struggles, too. It's so hard to put into words what I'm feeling. I've pretty much been a mushball since we got home. It's hard to know if what I'm feeling is normal or not; if others have felt this way too, or not; or if I should even vocalize what I'm feeling to my husband. What if he hears what I'm feeling and decides I'm unfit to mother his children?! Then what???

Well, I was reading some posts on the adoption forum that I've come to rely heavily upon--especially during the dreadful wait for LOA--because there are SO MANY "BTDTs": Been There Done Thats. And sure enough, I found a post that hit home.

I'm sitting at my computer in the office, and Gemma is playing with some toys around me. I start reading this post by another AP (adoptive parent), and I just start BAWLING. I mean...BAWLING. I could not stop sobbing. It just came out. I had to put my head down and cry. I.could.not.help.it. I swear, that post was about me! It sure felt like it anyway.

Well, when I came to my senses, I realized there was a 4-year-old girl who had stopped her playing and was looking at me with a concerned look on her face. I motioned for her to come to me, and she did. And I gave her a hug and through my tears told her I loved her. She immediately said, "I lub oo" and showed me "i love you" in sign language. (I've been trying to teach her the sign for I love you, and it's so cute when she does it, because she can't quite get her fingers to work.) Then she pointed to the upstairs, and I thought she had to go potty, so I said "okay." A minute later she came down with a napkin for me to wipe my tears and my nose. Hello! More tears...but this time of joy. What a sensitive little girl!! We are SO BLESSED!!!!

So, anyway, for those of you who are wondering how we are doing, how things are going, what we're really feeling inside, read this blog post and you'll get a pretty good idea.

http://www.jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

We are blessed beyond measure!!! Thank you God!!!

First Day of School

2011-09-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

It has finally arrived...the dreaded (for kids anyway) first day of school. Gracie was up in the middle of the night last night. "Mommy, I can't sleep. I keep having bad thoughts." That's Gracie-speak for, "I'm nervous about the first day of school." She got up alright this morning, though. Simon made her Mickey Mouse pancakes, by request. She got to wear a new outfit, and carry a new messenger bag and a new lunch box. When we finally got to school, she was a little bummed, because she didn't get the teacher she wanted, and she doesn't really know her teacher, as she taught the "big kids" last year. Also, she didn't have very many of her special friends in the same class. We told her that God put her in this class with this teacher for a very special reason. She got a little teary-eyed when we said goodbye, but I'm pretty sure she'll have oodles to share with us when she comes home today. :) I just LOVE this girl!!!

Quick Update--HOME

2011-08-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Seattle Friday morning to a host of family cheering and waving American flags for Gemma (who became a US citizen the second the plane touched down on US soil). Our flights were uneventful, and the girls did really well. We stayed at my parents' in Tacoma Fri and Sat, hoping to get a little rest. It didn't quite work out that way. But on Sunday, we decided to drive home anyway. Simon was awake enough to make the drive; the girls and I slept most of the 6+ hours.

It seems as though Gemma can only sleep 4 hours at night. Her poor system is so messed up! Please pray for her--and us--that we'll all be able to get back into a schedule that works. She was such a good sleeper in China; I hope she can be here, too, once she gets into a good rhythm.

I will try to post pictures another time. Right now I'm just trying to get caught up--sleep, laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, etc.

Last Day in Guangzhou

2011-08-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

I started this today before we checked out of the hotel. It's been another adventurous but good day, and before I go to sleep I figured I'd post what I have so far.

Wow, where does the time go? It seems like yesterday we touched down in Guangzhou and were greeted by Rebecca, our guide at the airport. As we prepare for the first leg home, I figured I'd piggyback on an idea from one of the families we met and Amy's blog post.

Things I miss the most:(aside from friends and family)

Our pets

American Starbucks and JoltNBolt

Riding my bike

My SMARTPHONE! (just a wee bit)

The smell of my freshly cut lawn

Making my own lattes

Not sweating profusely just walking down the street

Driving myself where I want to go, when I want to go

American sports! College Football anyone?

My bed

Dairy Queen Blizzard

USA, Here we come!

Last full day in GZ--Consulate appointment and the Zoo

2011-08-24T04:41:00.000-07:00

Here we are. We made it. Today was our last full day in Guangzhou, China. Tomorrow at 2 pm local time, we will check out of the Garden, head to the railway station, take a train to Hong Kong, check in to our airport hotel, and board a plane to Tokyo on Friday morning. I can honestly say--it's time. 18 days in China--WHEW!

Here is a list of things I miss from "back home":

--soft toilet paper

--homecooked meals

--my pillow and bed

--not sweating CONSTANTLY, ALL DAY

--public restrooms that don't stink to high heaven

--people who don't stare at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears

--my family

--my pets

--sleep

It's not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea.

We had our consulate appointment this morning at the US Embassy in GZ. This appointment is what our entire trip hinged upon. There are only so many appointments available Mon-Wed, so we got one of the last ones. When we arrived, there was a huge crowd of Chinese nationals waiting to apply for visas to the US. We walked right in but had to wait until 8:30 for the adoptions office to open. There was one other Lifeline family with us and maybe 10 other families. When we got to the Adoptions Office, there wasn't enough seating for all of us. We parents took an oath--it wasn't the oath of citizenship, but the oath of intending immigrants, which is what our children are at this point. As soon as we land on US soil (Seattle), Gemma will be a US citizen. She will lose her Chinese citizenship. I got a little choked up when we said the oath. It wasn't anything special, but it's what it represents...that Gemma is leaving behind her original citizenship, and embracing her new citizenship, on many levels: as a US citizen; as a member of the Miller/Peterson family; as a child of God. Then we were individually interviewed and had our paperwork checked over one last time. Tomorrow on the way to the train station, we will pick up Gemma's Chinese passport with her American visa in it, and we'll be good to fly home!!!

After the consulate appointment, we met the rest of our Lifeline group and visited the local zoo. I can honestly say that walking around that zoo, I was the HOTTEST, DRENCHED-IN-SWEATIEST that I have EVER been. It was really hard to enjoy the animals, when we were all miserably hot. But, the girls had fun, so I'm glad we went.

We got back to our room, had lunch at the air-conditioned McDonald's across the street, and came back for naps. I can't believe I got Gemma down for a nap--first one ever. Yay! She slept for close to 2 hours (and so did I...side benefit of having the kiddo take a nap).

Now, Gemma Lu is in the tub, and Simon and G are enjoying one last swim in the hotel pool. Life is so good...but we are ready for home.

Thanks, you all, for taking this journey with us! We have seen God work through your prayers, and that has been absolutely amazing to see. God bless you all! See you in America!!!!!

View from our hotel window (morning)

Balloon creature at the zoo

What exactly are "BEAET" of prey??

Funny signs alert!

Hugs!

Hotel shots

One half of our (messy) room

China Reflection: Gracie Faye

2011-08-24T01:31:00.000-07:00

What a whirlwind 3+ weeks it has been. After receiving TA Friday, July 29th, while celebrating Gracie's successful reading at Sunnyside Elementary, our lives switched into hyperdrive. The next week, Gracie had all day camp at Aowakiya for a week, while we frantically prepared for our journey across the world to get Gemma. This included a wonderful visit from Grandma and Grandpa Peterson from Tacoma. Nonetheless, it was a very busy, hectic, intense time for everyone, especially for a 7 year old girl!

As Amy and I excitedly packed and prepared for the trip, we both commented on how we knew Gracie was going to be great on the trip. It just so turns out that we underestimated our precious Gracie as she has been nothing short of fantastic the entire trip. I can't express how proud and blessed I have been this entire trip by this little girl, who has made sacrifices and adjustments beyond her years, with little-to-no complaining along the way. This trip has been a wonderfully fun and memorable experience, but also overwhelming, tiring, scary, and stressful. Add to all of this the fact of getting another family member, one that will need lots and lots of extra attention, love, and care, and you have quite a big adjustment for ANY person. That makes little Miss Gracie's behavior all the more impressive to us.

Last night, while on our boat cruise Gracie said to Amy, "mommy, I miss the 3 of us." Yep, all the fuss of Gemma's LOA and TA, prayer, travel, packing, flying across the world to the place G was born and united with us, witnessing an absolutely heart wrenching "Gotcha Day," then making big adjustments and concessions all without a fuss, and yet she still says what is in her heart in the most gentle, loving way. Since Amy shared that with me, I've once again been overwhelmed with a grateful heart.

More importantly, it has impacted me as a parent, husband, and person. I'm going to be transparent and tell you that I've had moments of failure and selfishness on our trip. I've been stressed and impatient with Gracie and reacted in ways I'm not particularly proud of... ways I don't want Gracie to remember me by. Even further, due to the challenges of adapting and caring for Gemma, and all her special issues and needs, in a foreign place, I've at times found myself inadvertently neglecting Gracie emotionally when she needs me most. By God's grace, I've been convicted and caught myself, but still, Gracie has been an anchor despite all the challenges.

None of this has been easy on my "Little G," but she has been nothing but a wonderful, loving big sister, and daughter and I'm so thankful for that. She doesn't know it now, but this little girl has been used by God to change me in many ways, too many to illustrate in a blog post. But I'll make it a point to show her how she has changed me by how I act and live as her father and as her mom's husband.

As we wind down our time here in China, the birthplace of my two daughters, I'll always remember how a beyond-her-years courageous little 7 year old girl traveled across the world and braved so much to welcome a new sister with love, patience, and understanding. Because of her , I know that I am a better person because of it and I know those who know her will be too.

I love you Gracie Faye Aijin Miller. And I'm very blessed and proud to be your daddy.

Dad

Pearl River Cruise

2011-08-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

I don't have a ton to say tonight, but I will post some pics. Gemma continues to do well. She is talking a lot and saying more and more English words. Today, her new words were "oh, yeah!" She is also getting a little clingier with us. She will let Simon hold her more and more, and she asks to get on my lap and for me to hold her a lot. She even gave me my first kiss on the lips today. And she made the accompanying smacking sound with her lips. So cute. ;)

A bittersweet moment today: we were on a cruise boat on the Pearl River and Gracie tells us, "I can't wait until we're home again." Then she says to me, "I kind of miss the 3 of us." :*(

I know things will take some time getting used to. Hopefully when we get home, G will feel more comfortable in her own surroundings and will learn to love her little sister.

Playground at our hotel

Ah, a little help, here?

Waiting for our cruise

On the boat

The beautiful lights of Guangzhou from the Pearl River

A "magic" show

Shamian Island

2011-08-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today was a scheduled trip to Shamian Island. This island is part of Guangzhou and has been, for a long time, synonymous with American adoption in China. That was because the US Embassy was located on Shamian Island, and every US adoption must go through the embassy before the child can receive a visa to the US. There is also a hotel on the island--The White Swan--where most Americans used to stay for the duration of their GZ time. The WS is famous for their red couches. Many adopted children get their photo taken on one of the red couches. Of course, we had to do that today, too. There are numerous shops geared toward Westerners on the island as well. Recently, the US Embassy moved off the island, and the White Swan also announced that it is closing in September for a year and a half to renovate. Unfortunately, most of the little shops will probably close down because of lack of business. We stayed at the White Swan when we adopted Gracie (when Auntie Martha was able to meet us there!), so Simon and I were a little nostalgic remembering back 7 years ago. Sniff, sniff.

Well, the medical exam office is still on the island, and our group had to take all of our kids back to get the results of the TB test from Saturday. I'm very happy to report that all the Lifeline kids in our group had negative test results-PTL!!! Thank you for your prayers. After the quick test result session, we were free to roam about the island and shop and eat for a few hours. As most of you know, you don't have to tell me twice to shop...if there's shopping to be had, I'm gonna have it. We pretty much knocked out our list of things to get, both for Gemma and for family/friends. Most of the prices were pretty decent, but we were still surprised that some of the prices were so high, what with many of the shops closing down in a month or two. Anyway, we had a good time, and we ate at the famous "Lucy's Cafe." It's an "American" restaurant in the middle of China. Last time we ate at Lucy's--7 years ago--we didn't really like it. Today, I can honestly say that the meal I had there was the best I've had in China so far. YUM! (Strangely enough, I had a Thai dish at the American cafe. Go figure.)

We got back to our hotel and vegged for a while. Simon went to the gym to run on the treadmill, so the girls and I stayed in the room. I had fun with Gemma. She was talking a lot, and I tried to get her to say English words. She manged "hello," "bye bye," and "mama." She is also asking to sit on my lap more and more. She also will show me whenever she gets a boo-boo for me to kiss it or rub it. So sweet!

We then ventured out to the Chinese Wal-mart again. I can only stay cooped up in our hotel room for so long at a time, even with the air conditioning. It seems as though trips to Wal-Mart are universal--we can just as easily drop $50 at the Chinese Wal-mart as we can at the Smelterville one. Okay, can I just make a couple observations here? Observation #1: Many Chinese people have no concept of environmental awareness. What I mean is this: we'll be walking along the sidewalk, pushing Gemma in the stroller, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN FRONT OF US will either stop directly in front of the stroller--to chat, talk on their phone, light a cigarette, you name it. OR, they will totally cut in front of the stroller, especially on escalators and elevators. Seriously, people. ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS!!! Observation #2: Many Chinese people like to stare at us. Okay, I know they probably have good reason. And I know that staring in the Chinese culture is not considered rude or bad manners like it is in the American culture. But, seriously! Take a picture! I'd really rather people ask to get their picture taken with me than have them stare at us as they walk by.

Okay. Rant over. I don't mean to belittle the Chinese or their culture. I think I've just been away from home too long. I'm ready to see the US!!!

Then we went to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and back home for baths and bed. Whew! I'm tired!!!

Feeding the fishies at The Garden.

Looking at the fishies at the White Swan

The beautiful WS waterfall

I had to politely discourage Simon from purchasing these clubs for dirt cheap

We bought so much from "Jennifer's Place," she gave the girls free snacks!

Model shoots are common on Shamian Island because of the beautiful European architecture.

Kitty!

This man created a chop (name stamp) for us.

Gracie LOVED the kitty...Gemma ran away from it. (Not good news for Pretty and Chloe.)

Red Couch (and other) pictures

The Millers 4

Gracie wanted this picture in front of the horse sculpture

Lucy's is an "American" cafe, so they have American memorabilia, including license plates from the 50 states. We sat near Idaho's.

My friend's little cutie pie on the bus ride back to the hotel.

Ahhh, this is the life!

Ready to go out

Gracie manipulates the rolling basket at the Walmart. (Linda, we need these baskets at OUR Walmart!!)

Super skinny Walmart aisles.

Trying on girlie shoes

Chinese error message on the display computer in Chinese Wal-mart. Simon couldn't resist.

Both girls got new water bottles today.

15th floor, please, madame elevator person.

Random dinner shots

Our favorite restaurant so far

Mama can't resist a good show sale no matter where in the world she is (I ended up purchasing them)

Bath time!

SHOPPING!

2011-08-21T02:29:00.000-07:00

A couple of funny stories I forgot to share yesterday.

#1. At the orphanage, Gemma's nanny and teacher were giggling and pointing at Gemma. Rebecca said they could tell she's been eating A LOT because of her little belly sticking out. LOL

#2. We were waiting at the medical exam office yesterday. A lady--not known by either of us--comes up to Simon and says, "You're Simon, aren't you? I've been reading your blog. You're famous." Haha!

Today was a planned shopping outing with our group. We were taken by bus to a local shopping mall. It was somewhat similar to western shopping malls; however, the greatest difference is that this mall was made up of hundreds of tiny hole-in-the-wall shops, instead of large department stores. Most of the shops were clothing, jewelry, and luggage/bags.

We went nuts! We bought: pearl necklaces, pearl earrings, a pearl ring; jade bracelets; flip flops for the girls; shoes for the girls; shoes for mom; qi paos for the girls; another suitcase for Gemma to "check" on the trip home...ummm, I'm sure there were other things but I can't remember. It was fun!! And on the whole, items were quite a bit less expensive here. For example, I bought a 16" strand of freshwater white pearls for $75 USD. I think Gemma kind of got into the shopping spirit a bit. :) She better learn to, in this family!!

We went out for a little Pizza Hut lunch after shopping, then we hung out in our room until dinner. For dinner, we went out with our group to a Malaysian restaurant for dinner. It was pretty good. And it only cost about $20 for the 4 of us. Not bad!

Upsidedown girl!

Our Lifeline group

Lambie gets to go shopping, too!

Outside the shopping mall

Gemma insisted on carrying the bag with the "bootlegged," I mean brand new, dvds.

"I want pearls, mama!"

Having a sucker while we wait for pearls.

We wait while the ladies string our necklaces.

Picking out jade for Gemma and me (Gracie got some in Beijing)

Big ol' nasty bug we saw at the mall...blech!

Picking out qi paos for the girls

Do they fit?

Mama's turn for shoes!

New flip flops for the girls (we painted toenails later on)

My friend, Gayly, her precious daughter, and her friend/travel companion. I "met" Gayly online several months ago, and all summer long we kept hoping to be able to travel together. Well, God worked it out, as only he can do! So cool!

Trying our chopsticks out

Little help here!

Gracie and her new friend--Grace--bond over technology.

Success!!

Medical Exam Day

2011-08-20T04:33:00.000-07:00

God answered another prayer today. Gemma did WONDERFULLY well at her medical exam. Consider this:

--there were 20, 30, maybe more families all in the tiny exam building at the same time

--there were LOTS of crying babies and kids

--all of the people around her were strangers except us

--she was poked, prodded, etc.

--she had to get a TB test which required a needle in the arm

All of this, and Gemma only cried once--when she got the TB test. And even then, she didn't cry much because she got a yummy piece of candy afterwards. SUCH a good girl!!!

After we returned to the hotel, we fed the girls a light lunch in our room and then ventured to Starbucks for an anniversary, celebratory frappuccino. The girls got a little treat, too.

After that, I headed upstairs with the other moms to fill out more paperwork, and Simon stayed with the girls. When I returned, he looked like he'd been through the wringer! He said Gemma was out of control--laughing, playing, being silly, even being mischievous. Honestly, we did not expect this from her while we were still in China. We thought it would take a lot longer for her to feel comfortable with us. We see this as another answer to prayer. It looks like we might have to institute some rules and consequences while we're still here. LOL. :)

Thank you all for the lovely anniversary wishes. 17 years have just FLOWN by. I still can't believe we've been together for that long! And I'm so excited to see what the next 17 years (and beyond) will bring!!

ILYSJMFAEAEAE...

Getting a little movie time in

Eating orange juice with a spoon

Fish feeding time again

On the "big" bus to the medical exam

Rebecca tries to prepare us for the mayhem that was to ensue

Medical exam building on Shamian Island

Patiently waiting her turn...a pen turned out to be the best entertainment

Mama, I accidentally wrote on myself. Can you please get it off?

Seriously, did that chair come from Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory or something?

Just a few of the families visiting the medical clinic today

ENT check up

Gracie patiently waited for Gemma to get done (it helped that Tom and Jerry was playing on the waiting room)

You're not supposed to touch that, Gemma Lu!

Handy Manny in Chinese

Yum! A Starbucks treat for mom and dad's anniversary.

Silly girls!

Sticker time!

Orphanage Visit

2011-08-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

Today was the day Simon and I had been dreading--yes, dreading--since Gotcha Day. After that traumatic experience for Gemma, we were not at all convinced that taking her back to her orphanage was a good idea. In fact, even this morning, less than 2 hours before we were to leave, I told Simon that maybe just he and Gracie should take the journey, and Gemma and I would stay here. She still had her cold, and I guess I had moment of panic. After some thought and prayer, though, we decided to go as a family. And I'm sure glad we did.

The trip was a little over an hour long. Gemma slept a bit on the way because I gave her some cold medicine this morning. I think our guide, Rebecca, said something to her about where we were going, because she had her serious face on all the way there. Gracie was even a bit nervous, too. "Mom, just as long as Gemma doesn't cry like she did on Gotcha Day," she's said to me numerous times the last couple of days. We were all a bit on edge.

I was on the verge of tears all the way to Zhongshan City. Then I saw the city name on a sign, and I almost couldn't contain myself. Somewhere in this city there exists a woman and/or couple who had to make the excruciating choice to give up their daughter. She/they may still be living there for all I know...even close to the orphanage. It just blows my mind how God orchestrated circumstances so that Gemma and we would be united at this place at this time in the course of history...for all of the little details that He had to put in place before now to bring us to this point in time...I.AM.IN.AWE.

Anyway, once I got within the city limits, I calmed down. The city is beautiful! Lush and green, with tree-lined streets. And it's so quiet! Compared to the hustle and bustle of Beijing and GZ, it was a welcome change of pace. Rebecca told us that Zhongshan City was voted one of the 10 best cities to live in in ALL of China.

We arrived at the orphanage gate, and it looks exactly like it does in all the pictures I've seen of it in our Zhongshan--Yahoo group. Gemma's teacher met us at the door. In China, kindergarten begins at age 3, so Gemma had already been in kindergarten. We started our tour in the canteen. It just so happened that Gemma's "class" was there eating. The 4-5 year olds that were her mates were all there. They all said hi to us at the nanny's bidding. I picked Gemma up, and after about 2 minutes in there, she started to cry...actually, to sob. It wasn't like Gotcha Day, though. Simon and I really believe that she was crying tears of "please don't leave me here," because as she cried, she wrapped her arms around me, which she hasn't done yet. She hasn't even let me hold her, really, until today.

She, Gracie, and I left the canteen and walked around outside for a bit to help her calm down, and she did. Next, we went up to her classroom. There was still a picture on the wall that Gemma had colored with her name on it. The teacher took it off the wall and let us have it. We saw the classroom where she had learned some fruit and vegetable names, food names, and some numbers. It was a pretty normal looking classroom, actually. Simon, the techie, was impressed that her classroom had an LCD projector in it. We don't even have one of those in HALF of our Kellogg classrooms! LOL! Gemma did okay in the classroom, but I held her the whole time.

Next we went up to her bedroom. On the way we saw the playground where several of her pictures and videos were taken. The whole orphanage was clean, bright, and well cared for. There were even a couple of swimming pools for the kids. Everyone was extremely friendly, too. When we reached her bedroom, all her little mates, who we had seen in the canteen, were getting ready for naps. Gemma had another little breakdown here, but not as bad as before. Simon and Gracie passed out all the toys we brought to the kiddos, and Gemma was brave enough to let me put her down. But she didn't want anything to do with passing out the toys. She just observed. The kids were ecstatic to get the toys. We made sure each kid in the room had a toy. We pretty much disrupted nap time, but the nannies were okay with that. :) We saw the empty crib where Gemma used to sleep. Interestingly enough, I did not react emotionally about her empty crib, like I did when I saw Gracie's. What got me was all the other cribs that were still FULL. I know that several of her mates have families coming for them, but not all of them do, and that makes me sad.

So, at that point it was about time to go. We felt that we had accomplished our goal--to see Gemma's home from the day after her birth until last Monday, and to let her see it one last time, as well as to realize that she is staying with us forever and for always. She had calmed down by this point, and she was walking with me, but we noticed that her right hand was clenched, like she was still really nervous. It didn't unclench until we were well into our drive back to the hotel.

She fell asleep on the ride back, as well. Poor little thing! She was emotionally spent! When we got back, it was past lunch time, so we walked directly to a yummy Mexican restaurant we visited a couple of nights ago. The transformation that came over this little girl was amazing! She was smiling; she was laughing; she was being silly; she was playing with Gracie. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted for her. We were so happy to see this!!

We thank ALL of you for the prayers you sent heavenward on our and Gemma's behalf. God heard and answered every single one of them!!

We have Gemma's medical exam tomorrow. We're a little nervous about that, as she will have to get a TB test and a pretty thorough examination. We would appreciate your prayers on her behalf yet again. We are excited, though, because 5 Lifeline families flew into GZ tonight, and we will all be joined as a group for the remainder of our stay here. We should be able to really get to know them well and form some tight bonds to last well into the future.

Oh. And tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary. What a wonderful way to celebrate!!!

"Zhongshan City Welcomes You"

At the front entrance of "Z"

Waiting in the reception area (the first time Gemma let me hold her)

Comforting Gemma by going on a little walk

Play areas

Gemma's drawing--they let us have it. :)

Whispering "I love you"

Lambie checks out Gemma's classroom

In Gemma's dormitory (sleeping room)

Look how she's holding on to my neck! That's a GOOD thing.

The lady on the left is a nanny (ayi), and the lady on the right is Gemma's teacher. The 10-year-old girl accompanied us on our tour. Her mom and I are friends via the Internet. :)

The universal color of school buses.

Simon and Lambie chill while the ladies visit the squattys.

Leaving "Z"

One final look at "Z"

A new girl emerged at lunch...

(LOVE the lip pucker!)

New floatie

This is the life!

Gemma likes getting her hair dried.

Gemma--Day 4

2011-08-18T04:49:00.001-07:00

We hit a bit of a wall last night--Gemma refused to sleep in her crib. In fact, she climbed out of it. And she refused to sleep with Gracie or on the floor. Every time I motioned to her to sleep somewhere, she shook her head. I finally got her on my bed with me, but she refused to lay herself down. I kept tapping the pillow and she kept shaking her head, "no." I'm wondering if bedtime is her sad time...perhaps that's when she starts thinking about what she left behind; she's not busy or distracted at bedtime by all that's going on around her, so maybe that's when she thinks. Anyway, she refused to lie down, so I just lay there by her. I could tell she was getting tired. Soon, she leaned back on both elbows, facing the opposite direction on the bed. Then her eyelids drooped and finally slammed shut, and she just kind fell to the bed and went right to sleep. So I just moved her from the edge and wrapped the comforter over her and she slept there all night. Poor Simon slept on the tiny sofa in the other room. He's a good daddy! (We bought a swim air mattress in case he needs to sleep on it tonight.)

So, I thought she slept well all night, but alas, she woke up with a cold. Poor baby...sneezing all day and a runny nose. But I have to say, she was SUCH a good sick girl today! Just like jie jie Gracie, who has ALWAYS been a good sick girl. We had to find a pharmacy to get her some medicine, because the stuff I brought from home is for age 6 and up. Silly me.

Despite Gemma being under the weather, we still had an outing this morning. We went to the GZ Folk Art Museum and a park that had a little amusement park and playground inside it. The girls did NOT like the museum, but they LOVED the park. Gemma got a little pep in her step at the park. She tried a lot of the playground equipment and a couple of the rides. It seems to us, though again, we're not early childhood experts or anything, but it seems to us that Gemma's delay might be physical. She seems a bit wobbly and/or off balance when she walks sometimes, and she appears to not have much muscle tone. However, this does not surprise us at all. She probably rarely got physical, muscle-building exercise at the orphanage. It could also be nutritional. I know the orphanage does its best to nourish the children. However, there could be some deficiencies in her diet. Hopefully with a steady diet and playtime at home she will be able to "catch up."

We're still nervous about taking her back to the orphanage tomorrow. It will be middle of the night back home, but if you could please remember us in your prayers, we would greatly appreciate it!! It's a 2-hour drive to the CWI (children's welfare institute)--each way! UGGHH! Gracie and I also don't do well when carsickness is concerned. Anyway, we need your prayers all the way around us tomorrow, please. And thank you so much!!

Gemma's unconventional sleeping pose last night

The Millers 4 at the Guangzhou Folk Art Museum

Gracie's "gone fishing" at the park!

The girls ride the pink giraffe.

Riding the Flying Saucers (thank goodness I wore shorts under my dress!!)

HILARIOUS sign. Must read!!

Playground equipment

The Miller family by the Elephant family

Silly baba!

Both girls are now "gone fishing"!

Playing with flashcards. The cards are in English and Chinese with pronunciation guides for the Chinese. We could tell she was saying what some of the items are. :)

The girls check out the hotel playroom.

At the Trust-Mart, aka Chinese Walmart...check out the brand, Walmart lovers!

Playing with new (cheap) toys

Another "UP" day

2011-08-17T05:18:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day! Gemma got a good night sleep again last night...whew! No tears today, either. Thank you, Lord! We had a lazy morning. Ate a good breakfast (these breakfasts are going to be the death of me! Seriously! I don't eat this well at home!!), fed the koi with a little more vigor today, and swam in the pool for almost 2 hours! Oops, I forgot to put sunscreen on Gemma and myself. Got a little red...my bad. But she liked the kiddie pool, so we'll probably do that again tomorrow. It's so hot and sticky here. Even with no sun, it's HOT!

Gemma is coming more and more out of her shell. She's still pretty quiet during the day, but she's playing more and more. Today she kept looking to me for approval and even with an impish little grin on her face when she was doing something silly and she wanted me to notice. She saw a picture of our family, and she pointed to Simon (baba) in the picture, and then she pointed to Simon in real life. She doesn't say "mama" or "baba," but she looks for us when we're out of the room or when we're in another part of the room.

We're planning a trip to Gemma's orphanage on Friday. We're really nervous to take her. Because of her reaction to us on Gotcha Day, we're afraid that she may do the same thing if we visit her orphanage. Those of you who are prayer warriors...please pray for us/her...we covet your prayers for that day. Anyway, it is customary to take gifts to the orphanage, so we went to a Chinese "Walmart" kind of store to shop. We got lots of toys and candy/snacks to take with us on Friday. We're hoping that Gemma will feel a sense of pride to be able to pass the toys and goodies out to her friends because SHE now has a family to go home with. That's our prayer for her, anyway. So again, please pray for Gemma and her visit to the orphanage. God has shown himself so faithful this whole journey, and I know he will continue to do so through your prayers.

We went to the local police station to apply for Gemma's passport today. She had to get her picture taken, and they had to see our passports to verify our identities. We should have her passport in a few days. There were many families at the police station applying for passports...mostly Americans, but some Europeans as well. Almost all of the families adopting babies have been waiting upwards of 5 years. Had we not switched to the Special Needs/Waiting Child program, we would probably be waiting for a baby until 2013, if not longer. Almost all adoptions from China these days are special needs (SN).

Speaking of SN, some of you may not know that Gemma's special need is Developmental Delay. When the Dutch family decided not to go through with her adoption last fall, the Chinese officials required a medical reason to disrupt the adoption. So, they gave her some kind of IQ test where she scored very low. That earned her the SN label. Simon and I both feel, however, that we have one smart cookie on our hands. We don't pretend to be experts in the field of child development, but we feel that intellectually, she's pretty much right on track. Of course, there will be some social and/or other delays because she's been in an institution her whole life. We are confident, however, that with our love and God's love, she will overcome. Speaking of being a smart cookie, she discovered Simon's netbook today. Hello! She started manipulating the mouse and pressing keys like crazy! She knows what it's for! :)

Oh, and she's also eating EVERYTHING we've given her: Chinese noodles, Mexican rice; chicken nuggets; fruit snacks; ritz crackers; and tonight...pizza and ice cream. We've also had the first signs of jealousy between the two girls today...from Gracie. We knew it was coming. We know we have to give Gemma lots of attention right now, but we're trying REALLY hard to make sure Gracie is included in everything we do, and that she knows how much we love her. There will definitely be some adjusting to do, especially once we get home. ;)

Breakfast time gain!

Lambie feeds bread to the koi.

Sisters

Computer guru

Combing Barbie's hair

Poolside!

All these people were at the police station applying for passports for their new children.

She LOVES the stroller!

Another shot of a human tractor-trailer

Silly picture in the van

Strolling through the Trust Mart (I HATE shots from the "rear" but I thought this one was cute because you can see Gemma's purse hanging crosswise over her shoulder.)

Our van driver...he received this shirt as a gift from another family. We HAD to get a picture for all our Coug faithful!

More strawberry smoothies!

First baby-sized ice cream cone

It's official--We are now the Millers 4!!

2011-08-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

Today was adoption finalization day. When we adopted Gracie, we had Gotcha Day and the adoption finalization on the same day at the same time. Now, China often gives families a 24 hour "honeymoon" of sorts. This was the exact spot when Gemma's first adoption was disrupted last November. We were afraid that she would have flashbacks to that time. Also, we had to go back to the same office where we received Gemma yesterday and where she had, ahem...a meltdown. We were really terrified that she would definitely remember the fear she expressed there yesterday. We were praying HARD all morning and all the way to the office.

Well, once again, God proved himself faithful (like I really need him to prove himself again and again, right?)! But he continues to show himself faithful and merciful--Gemma was absolutely FINE at the civil affairs office today. No flashbacks, no meltdowns, no sadness. It was as if God wiped her memory clean of that fear, just like we tried to wipe her tears yesterday. So, we sat in front of a notary public as well as a registrar and explained why we wanted to adopt Zhong San Hui and promised that we would never abandon or abuse her. Easy promises to make!! And that was that! She is officially a Miller today--August 16, 2011.

Gemma slept REALLY well last night...like 10 hours well! Oh thank you, Jesus! She did not cry going to bed, and only had a few tears when she woke up. We took her to the breakfast room and she ate, and ate, and ate...we had to pull her plate away from her to get her to stop. It's kind of comforting and heart-breaking at the same time to watch her eat. It's like she knows how to eat for survival, and she'll eat everything that's in front of her until it's taken away. I'm glad she's getting full, though. I hope it comforts her to some degree.

After breakfast we took her and Gracie to feed the koi. She was a little standoffish at first, but after Gracie showed her how to do it, she joined right in. Cute!

After the adoption finalization, we ate McDonald's chicken nuggets and fries in our room. Gemma joined right in on the American grub. Then we went shopping for some odds and ends--ramen noodles, goggles for G to use in the pool, snacks, and water/soda. Oh yeah, and we bought each of the girls a Barbie doll. We found out today that Gemma likes Barbie. Wish we would have known that sooner! G only has about 100 lying around the house we could've brought with us. :) We rented a stroller from the concierge, and Gemma LOVED it! She's almost too big for it, but there's no way she could walk with us for as far as we walked today. She's tall, but skinny, and she doesn't seem to have a lot of strength.

We came back to our room and vegged for a while. The girls played with their Barbies, and the parents pseudo napped. Then we went to a yummy--authentic--Mexican restaurant for dinner. It was really good! Gemma discovered strawberry smoothies. YUM-O!

Now, the girls are in the tub again, and Gemma is like a new person in there! She laughs, giggles, talks, and repeats some words that G says. Tonight she said "hello," "gentle," and "bottle."

We're going to try the pool sometime tomorrow. There's a little kiddy pool, so hopefully Gemma will be willing to go in it if G does.

Thank you for your continued prayers. We know there will be ups and downs, but today was definitely an UP!!!

Breakfast time...

Feeding the koi...

Driving to the Civil Affairs Office to make it official...

THE MILLERS 4!!!

Hey, Lambie's a Miller, too!!

We have tractor-trailers to haul this kind of stuff in America.

Chicken nuggets...yum!

A little retail therapy...

Playing with the new Barbies...

Scraping the smoothie glass...

G's shirt says: "Jie Jie" which means big/older sister. Gemma's says "Mei Mei" which means little/younger sister.

GOTCHA!!!!

2011-08-15T05:08:00.000-07:00

Whew! What a day! In the words of the wisest 7-year-old I know, today was "tough--tough but good." Having gone through a Gotcha Day before, you'd think we would know what to expect, right? Well, right and wrong. We knew she was timid, introverted, and shy; we knew she had a previous disrupted adoption; we knew she was scared of foreigners. What we didn't know was how that would all manifest itself. Well, it was something. There were lots of tears...from Gemma and from us. There were a LOT of prayers. And the biggest thing I can say is THANK GOD FOR SIMON! He was my rock, and he was Gemma's rock too, even though she didn't know it at the time.

We arrived at the Civil Affairs Office with 1 other Lifeline family. We saw Gemma before she was handed over to us, and she looked happy. After she was given to us, it was mayhem for a while. To preserve Gemma's dignity, I won't go into details. Let's just say our hearts were breaking for her. The fear in her eyes was heart-wrenching! But God is good, and as we started to leave the building, she stopped crying. She was still scared, but she wasn't hysterical anymore.

We got back to the hotel, and she let Simon carry her up to our room. We started pulling out every toy, crayon, doll, etc. that we had. She showed some interest in everything. She looked at her hair clips; she colored a page in a coloring book; she watched an episode of Ni Hao Kai-Lan. We even got a few near smiles.

Simon left to fill out paperwork, so I was left with the girls. Can I just say how proud of Gracie I am? She was visibly upset at the civil affairs office, but she totally rallied! She played with Gemma, talked to her, showed her how to do things. I LOVE GRACIE SO MUCH! Thank God she's here with us!!!!

Our driver was sent out to get a little toilet seat that Gemma is used to using at her orphanage. When it arrived, she sat right on it and went potty. But then she didn't get up. She just kept sitting there and sitting there. A couple different times the tears just started streaming down her face. WHAT TO DO??? I cried out to God with my mother's heart for him to comfort her, because I don't know how to at this point. Simon returned from the paperwork sessions, and he could tell Gemma was sad. We decided to make the girls some top ramen noodles (Gracie's fave). Gemma didn't want to eat at the table with Gracie, so I sat with her in on our bed. She fed herself really well. I think she's had to do that for quite a while at the orphanage. :*( Then Gracie brought her little tablet into the room with us and watched a Barbie movie with Gemma. Gemma was really forlorn at this point, and she kept rubbing her eyes. I didn't want her to sleep before having a bath.

I started filling the tub and told Gracie that if she got in, maybe Gemma would follow. Sure enough, Gemma came willingly to the tub. Once she got in, it's like a totally different girl emerged! We got smiles; we got giggles; we got words; she even said "hello" to us. Oh thank you Jesus for the little things! She got a little forlorn again after bath, but she willingly let me brush her teeth and lift her into her crib. So far, not a peep out of her. We'll see how the night goes. We have a king sized bed, so we'll let her sleep with us if necessary.

Gemma is a sweet, sweet girl. I love that she's introverted--so am I; so is Gracie. She is a thinker, I can tell. She even seems to have some of Gracie's attention-to-detail skills. After she was done using each colored pencil, she put it back in the box facing the way Gracie had originally put it in the box. She copied Gracie in the tub--filling her cup with water; splashing it over herself and her sister; rubbing her arms with the washrag. I can't wait to see more and more of her emerge.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your diligent prayers on our behalf...we have coveted each and every one of them. And we still ask that you pray! God will heal her little heart in his perfect timing, of this we are sure.

Driving to the Civil Affairs Office

Walking into the office

Having a 'nack (as my nephew Owen would say)

Watching Ni Hao Kai-Lan

Pretty girl

Checking out her hair clips

She likes the balloon

Coloring--is she a lefty??

Gemma's first picture

Trying to sharpen some colored pencils

Bath time!

Look at that smile!!!
During the bath Gracie leaned over and said to me, "I'm glad I got Sanhui!" :*)

Today is THE day

2011-08-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

Nearly 7 years ago, Simon and I sat in a van riding to the Civil Affairs Office in Chongqing to meet Gracie for the first time. We were pretty quiet on that ride--anticipating what the next moments, days, weeks, and years would be like. I'm sure our hearts were beating wildly! In fact, our guide, Michael, broke into our silence and said, "I can hear your heart beat."

Can you hear my heart beat today?

Gemma's bed is all ready to go!

This is our "to do" list for Gotcha Day. I especially like #8. :)

Good Day

2011-08-14T06:26:00.001-07:00

We had a really good day today. It was kind of a lazy day, which we needed! We ate a leisurely breakfast, where we met a family (Lifeliners, like us!) who just adopted a precious chubby bunny little girl from Fuling. That's where Gracie is from! Gracie loved playing with the little baby. :) Then we explored the garden of The Garden Hotel--it is beautiful! Koi ponds galore, with Koi that are bigger than our dog, Dolly! We took some time to check out the hotel pool--very nice!! Then Gracie and I took naps while Simon was busy using several of the gadgets we brought with us. :) We then met with 4 other Lifeline families for dinner. We met, and ate with, a family from Spokane, of all places. They just adopted a 6 y.o. little girl. So cute! They have 2 sons--9th and 7th grade. Very nice boys. After dinner, we ventured out on our own and found a Haagen-Dazs store for some dessert...yum!

Koi!

And more koi!

Can't get enough of the funny signs!

The sign says, "Mind your head." So, Simon is minding his head!

Feeding some koi.

Lambie--poolside

Refreshing!

Nothing like some good old TRNs (Top Ramen noodles--brought from home) for lunch in China.

Nap time!

My Girls

2011-08-14T01:44:00.000-07:00

While I type this blog entry, my 2 girls are napping and sleeping peacefully as we are now less than 24 hours away from being united with our precious Gemma Lu. Those of you who know me well, if you are already imagining a tear or two running down my cheek, you would be correct. I just spent the morning with my 2 girls, eating, enjoying our scenic hotel grounds, and then swimming in the pool. It was such a wonderful time as I was able to soak in how much I love them both. I think the picture below does a good job illustrating this next chapter in our journey as a family.

We've ridden through the streets of Beijing, climbed The Great Wall, seen the Forbidden City and many, many other wonderful life changing endeavors. You can't take a trip like this and not have the experience change you yet also reaffirm who you are and what you believe. As the time now approaches, we are all anxious, and maybe even a little scared, but our hearts overflow abundantly with love for each other and expectantly for our Gemma as we get closer and closer to being forever united.

Right now, I type out this note as a meager attempt to put my feelings into words, but I cannot even begin to describe the love, admiration, and inspiration I feel towards Amy as I've seen how indescribably strong, determined, and devoted she has been throughout this entire journey. Since starting this process over 4 years ago, we've faced frustration, difficulties, delays, confusion, and fatigue, yet Amy has not wavered one bit. She's been faithful and courageous even in times when I was not. Her commitment and resolve to be united with this little girl is like nothing I've ever seen. Right up until this very moment I continue to see her undying love and determination to finally unite with our Gemma forever.

And then there is my Gracie Faye, "Little G." (about to become "Big G.") She has also longed faithfully for her "little sister" for as long as she can remember. Today at breakfast we met a couple from Alabama who just adopted a 16 month girl from....Fuling City (Chongqing), which is the very place we met Gracie. It was a surreal moment as we watched the little chubby cheeked girl interacting with her new mommy and daddy. I looked over at Gracie and she was brimming with love and contentment. It was at that moment that things came full circle with my emotions! Gracie too has been such a patient, loving, and brave little girl right up until this very moment. My love for my little girl, Gracie is boundless and vast and she will always be my "Little Goose."

I am so incredibly blessed by these two girls in my life that I simply cannot fathom my life without them, for they are my life. Likewise, I'm already unable to imagine what our lives would be like without the little girl we will meet tomorrow. Our journey, (both the last 7 years as well as the last 4 days) thus far has prepared our hearts for our newest family member, and my newest girl, Gemma Lucille Sanhui Miller.

I'm so blessed and thankful to God for "My Girls."

Last Day in Beijing--First Day in Guangzhou (GZ)

2011-08-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

A SURPRISE IN MY INBOX TODAY!!!

We received some photos of Gemma today. We sent her a "Happy Family Celebration" cake to her orphanage. She had a little party where she shared the cake with her friends. DARLING!!

P.S. We received an update from our GZ guide on Gemma's skin condition--it appears all of the "bumps" on her face are drying up and healing. :)

Meanwhile, back in Beijing...

Today was a transition day for us--leaving Beijing and arriving in GZ. Gracie powered up with a breakfast of: 2 eggs, over easy; 2 strips of "soft" bacon; 2 pancakes with butter and syrup; a chocolate muffin; and grape juice. Whew!

Daddy and his oldest daughter. :)

Saying goodbye to our Beijing guide--Miranda. She was wonderful!

No Starbucks in sight? Never fear! Chinese mocha to the rescue!

These are some views of our hotel--The Garden--in GZ. AMAZING!!

Climbing the Great Wall--awe-inspiring. Visiting Tiananmen Square--incredible. Seeing the Temple of Heaven and the Summer Palace--beautiful. Traveling 6,000 miles for Mcdonald's chicken nuggets and fries in GZ? PRICELESS!!!!!

Oh, yes. And in case you were wondering, Simon DID get his Starbucks fix...within steps of our hotel lobby. :)

Another funny sign...

Gracie cannot wait to jump in!

We will meet Gemma on Monday, Aug. 15. We're getting pretty excited!! Please keep praying for us, and especially Gemma. Thank you!!

Beijing--Day 3

2011-08-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

Leftover from yesterday--We got these figurines at the jade factory. The piggie is for Gemma, who was born in the year of the boar. The horse is for Gracie, who collects them.

The Millers--and Chairman Mao--in Tiananmen Square. It's the largest public plaza in the world and can hold 1,000,000 people at one time. It was here that Chairman Mao declared it the People's Republic of China in 1949.

Gracie and Chairman Mao

Where's Lambie today? In the Forbidden City! During the time of the emperors, it was forbidden for common people to enter this massive city. Only the imperial court was allowed. The city has 9,999 rooms. Why not 10,000, you ask? Well, apparently the god of heaven had 10,000 rooms. Since the emperor is a mortal after all, he could only have 9,999 rooms.

Gracie learned what the word "muggy" means today--popsicle #1.

Masses and masses of people

Funny sign...

This moat surrounds the entire Forbidden City.

Where are we, America??

This is the Temple of Heaven. The emperor went here 3 times a year to pray for good harvests.

The structure is made of wood and is free of nails--it is supported by pillars on the inside.

Another funny sign...because the railings are such relics, you know...lol

Our guide warned me that I might be mistaken for a movie star because of the blonde hair and blue eyes. These ladies wanted their picture taken with me. I should have charged 20 yuan per picture!

This is the summer palace, where the emperor would go, well...in the summer.

Popsicle #2...near the lotus garden

A beautiful pink lotus flower

This is a man-made lake, with an island in the center. You can see a bridge where pedestrians can walk to the island.

We rode this dragon boat around the lake.

Just in case you were thinking about it...

Another view of the summer palace. The haze is the smog in this city.

It's the driver's ed teacher in me...I can't resist a good road sign.

Silly Millers in the hotel.

Beijing--Day 2

2011-08-11T00:21:00.001-07:00

We visited a jade factory today. We learned that some jade is so hard that it can only be carved using diamonds. This sculpture was carved out of 1 piece of jade...believe it.

Gracie got a pretty jade bracelet.

Here's the obligatory tourist shot on the Great Wall. There were thousands of people there! We started up the part of the wall that you see behind us, but there were so many people, we decided to climb the "wall less traveled." We couldn't figure out at first why it wasn't as crowded. After climbing a bit--and not being able to breathe--we understood.

Where's Lambie??

Simon was a ROCKSTAR! He gave G a piggyback up the steepest part of the wall! You da man!!!

Breathtaking view!!

I forgot to say that temps here are hotter than blazes! Add in the high humidity, and during our Wall climb, the sweat.was.pouring.down.

Simon's Ireland tshirt makes me ponder--though the views were beautiful, the humanity we saw at the Wall was amazing! People from all races, nationalities, age groups, and walks of life...it was a truly awe-inspiring experience.

We climbed up that?! (Photo taken on our way down.)

Tired little diva on the ride back.

Beijing--Day 1

2011-08-10T03:03:00.000-07:00

Even though our day didn't officially begin until 11:30, it felt like a full day having only 6-8 hours of sleep in the last day and a half. But, we managed, and had a pretty good day. We started with an authentic Chinese lunch. Simon and I enjoyed it; Gracie tolerated it, at best. ;) What you see in the picture is pork with dragonfruit--kung pao shrimp--bok choy and mushrooms--and fried rice.

Next stop--Hutong Tour. This is us in the pedicabs. They were driven by locals through the hutongs--aka "alleys." We saw homes that were originally built for the emperor's civil affairs employees hundreds of years ago. Many of them have been torn down, but the section we toured has been preserved by the government. (Our tour guide here was Angelina--a student working part-time during the summer.)

At the end of the Hutong tour, we visited with a family in one of the homes I described above. We had a nice visit and were able to ask--and answer--many questions. The room we're standing in is her "living" room. We also saw the kitchen--tiny--and learned that 6 families live in the same area as this family, and they all share ONE bathroom! (We are SO blessed!) This lady was very smitten by Gracie...she said G could stay and live with her. :)

This is the drum tower. It used to be the only time keeper for villagers back in the day. We had to climb 69 VERY steep steps to get up to the drums. G was a trooper!

Several of the drums at the top of the tower. There is a wonderful view of Beijing from the top.

Off to the Olympic Plaza...the Bird's Nest was the NEATEST in person...it's huge!

Simon and Gracie were intrigued by the Water Cube. We got to tour it. There is an indoor water park attached to it, and the diving platforms were all still intact. It was super loud in there, too. We can only imagine what it must have sounded like when Michael Phelps won his 8th medal!

Oy, the traffic! We must have the best driver in Beijing! Curiously enough, we've not seen one fender bender, and that's saying a lot, the way people drive over here!

We finished up the day with a tour of a silk factory. Unfortunately, there is no room in the luggage to purchase a lovely silk comforter. :(

Now we're (hopefully) off to dreamland for a good 8 hours, and then off to The Great Wall tomorrow!

Night, all.

P.S. Gracie's first experience with a squatty potty??? Well, let's just say it wasn't pretty.

We made it!

2011-08-09T17:36:00.003-07:00

Sugar lips! Enjoying the hotel breakfast buffet.
Our hotel.
Bye bye USA!

We don't have a lot to report at this point. Just that we made it to China safely after a long, long, LONG and cramped flight. It wasn't horrible...just not something we want to do again any time soon...like for at least 3 weeks. Haha!

Gracie had a full week at Day Camp--Aowakiya

2011-08-06T20:35:00.000-07:00

Gracie spent the week at the Camp Fire camp Aowakiya. She had a great time and learned some useful and fun skills like: fire-starting, archery, and flag folding. I definitely recommend this camp for school-aged children.

Gemma's Room Is Done! (And just in time, too!)

2011-08-04T21:17:00.001-07:00

The last piece of Gemma's room--a new mattress--fell into place today. It's done, and just in time, since we leave on Monday. WHEW!

TA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-29T23:42:00.001-07:00

I still can't believe it, even after several hours...even as I type this...WE RECEIVED OUR TA TODAY. It's certainly a miracle!! I've been praying since LOA (July 11), and even before that, that somehow we'd receive our TA prior to August 1st in order to avoid some lengthy (and costly) new post-placement regulations. I seriously did not expect TA today. Only 18 DAYS AFTER LOA????? UNHEARD OF!!! And BEFORE THE AUGUST 1st CUTOFF???ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!? God, YOU are amazing!!

Hang on, Gemma Lu!!! Mama, Baba, and Jie Jie Gracie are coming sooner than ANY OF US thought!!!

Planting Trees

2011-07-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

This is why we adopt, why we parent, why we love.

We chose the spot, we dug the hole
We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold
As Autumn falls to Winters sleep
We pray that somehow in the Spring
The roots grow deep

And many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn

He took a plane to Africa
He gathered up into his arms
An orphan son

So many years from now
Long after we are gone
This tree will spread its branches out
And bless the dawn

So sit down and write that letter
Sign up and join the fight
Sink in to all that matters
Step out into the light
Let go of all that's passing
Lift up the least of these
Lean into something lasting
Planting trees

She rises up as morning breaks
She moves among these rooms alone
Before we wake
And her heart is so full; it overflows
She waters us with love and the children grow

So many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless someone

Updated photos of Sanhui and...her English name!

2011-07-20T15:48:00.001-07:00

After we received our LOA last week, I ordered a care package from Ladybugs n Love. We just today received these updated photos of Sanhui as well as some information about her. What a blessing!! We learned that she is very scared of strangers, so we will have to be extremely patient with her and just love, love, love her until she trusts us!

We've also decided to share what her English name is. This adoption has been quite a bit different than Gracie's, so we're going to do things a bit differently than we did with Gracie. Sanhui's full English name will be:
GEMMA LUCILLE SANHUI MILLER!

"GEMMA" means "gem, jewel, or precious stone," and she is VERY precious to us!
"LUCILLE" is Simon's grandma's middle name (Gracie also has a family middle name).

Time to get to work...before picture

2011-07-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

At about 45 days into our LOA wait, I made a pact with Gracie that we wouldn't get Mei Mei's (little sister's) room ready until we received our LOA. I just couldn't BEAR to have a finished room sitting there empty for who knows how long. Well, yesterday we received our LOA, so I guess it's time to get to work on this room. I call it "joyful work." :o)

LOA!!!!!

2011-07-11T17:26:00.001-07:00

Our agency received our LOA (letter of acceptance) today...after waiting 94 days for it. That means we have 1 more step--Travel Approval--to obtain before we can leave. We're coming soon, Sanhui!!!!

Before...

2011-06-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Main Garden: zucchini, carrots, lettuce, tomatoes

Strawberry Patch

Potatoes

Rows of corn

New pictures of Sanhui

2011-06-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

We received these pictures and videos of Sanhui today...from a family who was in Zhongshan last week adopting their precious daughter. So these pictures are barely a week old. Isn't she beautiful?! In the one picture where she looks a little grumpy, I imagine her saying to herself, "When is MY mama, baba, and jiejie going to come and get me??"

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

I am reminded daily of the special bond between fathers and their children--specifically between fathers and their daughters. I am SO thankful for Simon and the loving relationship he has with G. It is mind-boggling to know that my heavenly Father loves me INFINITELY MORE than Simon loves G!! "Jesus, your love takes my breath away!"

The Wait...there is some good

2011-06-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

The wait...there is some good

by Amy Peterson Miller on Saturday, June 18, 2011 at 10:34am

Okay, so there are a couple of good things about having to wait so long for Sanhui.

1. We found a "snag" in our USCIS paperwork, so we have time to fix it before we travel. (It would've been DISASTROUS if we had traveled before discovering the error!)

2. I've joined several online groups and have met a.) people who have adopted/are adopting from the same orphanage where Sanhui is, b.) people who might be traveling about the same we are and who we might meet while in China, and c.) people who are adopting through the same agency we are and can share their experiences.

A (very important) Update!

2011-06-18T12:01:00.001-07:00

This is our dear daughter Zhong San Hui. She is 4 years old and is waiting for us in Zhongshan Children's Welfare Institute in Zhongshan City, in Guangdong Province in People's Republic of China. We receive Pre-Approval (PA) to adopt her on April 8, 2011. We are on day 70 waiting for our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) from China which will make her officially ours. We cannot travel until we receive LOA. Hopefully it will come soon!

Random Christmas Memory II

2010-12-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

I remember as a kid thinking my parents were crazy for not buying each other presents at Christmas. It was so much fun tearing into presents with eager anticipation and experiencing the joy of those wonderful gifts. I can honestly say I was always fully aware and thankful of all the wonderful gifts from my parents and cherished the memories my parents created for me. They always focused on my sister and me and made sacrifices to make Christmastime special. Oh and by the way, we believed in Santa and suffered no ill effects from this mythical tradition. (well, no more ill effects than normal!) In fact just about the time I was "wise" to the Santa gig my mom simply said, "If you want to continue getting presents from Santa...." and that was all it took!

I also remember my teen years that I became more aware of the sacrifices my parents made so they could do more for me. I remember thinking, I don't know if I could make such sacrifices! I know selfish right? Well, I have to say that since we've had Gracie I fully understand what they felt all those years. Amy and I used to lavish each other with gifts when we were first married, but even before Gracie we questioned the need to do so. Nonetheless, it wasn't until we got Gracie that we fully experienced how incredible it felt to buy for her. As she has gotten older, and her anticipation and appreciation has grown, that joy of buying for her has only increased. This year has been particularly entertaining as she drops subtle (and some not so subtle) hints as to what she would like for Christmas. The reminders and updates are frequent and quite amusing! We are thankful and blessed to be able to make Christmas a special time for Gracie.

I've seen lots of discussion including "Keep Christ In Christmas," and "Christmas is too commercialized," and "we are a country of greed and waste," and "Belief in Santa will damage your child's psyche," and I wanted to note that I find good sound arguments and points for all these topics. But in light of all that, it is up to the individual family to keep things in perspective. Further, if we stopped judging how others celebrate (or don't celebrate) and/or deal with Christmas and instead focus on how we carry out these traditions, things would be much better.

We have always focused our Christmas traditions and experiences on Christ and the real reason for Christmas. Gracie loves the Christmas story and regularly recites and inquires about it. We reinforce the values and key messages from scripture every time we get the opportunity. We also allow Gracie to enjoy the belief of Santa but with careful words and even some factual origins of this traditional figure. I'm sure our way of doing things is not the same as other families', and furthermore it surely isn't perfect, but everything we do, we try to refocus to the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

Merry Christmas

Random Christmas Memory

2010-12-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

I was driving to work today when "Sleigh Ride" came up on my phone (Pandora) playing through my car stereo. As I listened to the song a vivid memory came to me as it often does whenever I hear this particular song, particularly the instrumental version. When I was a kid, not quite sure how old I was but I think I was middle school age. (7th or 8th grade) my dad informed me that he had a surprise for me. It must have been late October or November. I remember being very excited having no clue what awaited me. We drove uptown and proceeded to walk up the stairs above Dick & Floyds where I believe there was a dance studio? (not totally sure) Anyway, once we got up there I saw Mr. Dickinson and Claudia Laskey and some other people. I was a little confused as to how this was a surprise for me, until Mr. D began playing his trumpet. My dad then informed me that they were rehearsing a skit/commercial for SilverHorn Ski area (advertisement) Mr. D's laser sharp trumpet sound and warm tone was amazing as he played a rendition of "Sleigh Ride" completely solo. Since I was completely mesmerized by the trumpet playing, I have forgotten what else was happening, but I think it involved Claudia dancing or something. After a couple verses Mr. D then gets comes together with Claudia and they walk out and Mr. D. says "See boys, it pays to play on Silver Horn." I have always been inspired by Mr. D's horn playing and teaching. I'm also glad I had parents that took time to treat me to things that would encourage me in my activities and pursuits.

"Gracie"ful Reminders

2010-11-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but it's been a challenging, tiring, long, trying week at the Miller household. I've had a cough that has lingered from my first cold of the season back around October 16. School has been stressful for Amy, and Gracie has had lots to do after school. Throw in a school board meeting, choir practices, pet challenges, and you have a very full week! Admittedly I have not handled it too well. I've been impatient, ungrateful, lazy, and just unpleasant at times. Sometimes we just have those dry seasons, varying in length which I feel God sovereignly places us in so He can connect with us and change us. However, I've needed every bit of Grace as I've navigated the challenges of the week.

Today as we started our whopping 1.8 mile commute to work/school, G and I were listening to our Tidings Album by our great friend Laurie Roberts and Tammy McMorrow. The song "Magnify" was playing and while swept up in the amazing music and vocals, I was still in a pity party of sorts due to a sleep deprived night due to a very uncooperative dachshund and a week full of struggles. As we approached the Division St. intersection, I heard G belting out the song just as if she was on stage with Laurie and Tammy. I looked back and there she was, with the Southeastern November sunrise shining on her tiara (it was hat day at school) with a smile a mile wide, singing praises. That is when it hit me. We can be so self centered and spoiled at times and take the simple things God has for us for granted. Things like a wonderful wife, great job, health, family, friends and an amazing daughter.

It's tough to explain with words, but believe me when I say that I was definitely touched by God at at that moment and felt a wonderful peace, amidst all my pity, not because I deserved it, but because of God's unfathomable, all sufficient grace. I'm attempting to explain this to illustrate that just because one believes in God or accepts Christ in their lives doesn't guarantee blue skies, warm sun, and birds chirping every morning. Life will still be hard and there will still be dry seasons of frustration and doubt. Tears filled my eyes while I enjoyed my daughter singing and I all of a sudden found myself smiling uncontrollably.

Amy and I attended a Weekend to Remember by Family Life at the Coeur d' Alene Resort a couple weeks ago. It was our 2nd time attending the conference and like the first time, it didn't disappoint. I would highly recommend this weekend getaway to couples of all ages and years of being married. It is also a wonderful opportunity for engaged couples. Anyway, my reason for mentioning this event is because one of the points made by speaker Tim Kimmel was that although the weekend getaway was a great way for couples to achieve "oneness" and improve relationship aspects, returning back to work, home, families, and "real life" would surely be a difficult adjustment. How true this statement turned out to be but equally true was his emphatic statement that grace based relationships were the best type.

Magnify indeed.

Grandma Dee Day

2010-10-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

Along with all the "normal" emotions associated with parenthood, Amy and I were presented with an entire subset of feelings in 2004 when we became parents, because of some minor details such as traveling across the globe to get our little girl, or having to adjust on the fly to having a 10 month old in the blink of an eye. September and October always invoke a stronger form of these emotions and memories because it was this time of the year when our lives changed forever. (for the better!)

"Free time." It is something we truly take for granted until we don't have much of it and we then realize how much we actually had before. Anyway, one particular thing I remember was how instantly should I say abruptly Amy and I became aware of how much "free time" we had before Gracie came into our lives. The first few weeks after we returned from China with our little girl we commented about how little time we had but we quickly realized this was due to all the time we actually wasted prior to our new addition. In relation to this, I remember my mom mentioning in those few weeks how she really wished she could see Gracie more. We were new at this and we never really thought of that aspect as we were merely trying to get our routines established and learn to be parents on the fly. Funny how the aspect of time is so taken for granted until we have changes to remind us of what really matters.

Soon after, we started the tradition of "Grandma Dee" day, a day or two per week where G got to visit and spend time with Grandma Dee and Grandpa Jim. Since she has been able to verbalize her wishes, G has always looked forward to her "Grandma Dee" day(s). They have worked out to happen mostly on Sundays and Wednesday evenings. They include lots of fun activities such as Play-Doh, videos, coloring, cooking, baking, toys from the basement, walks, bike rides, visits to other neighbors and much much more. It rekindles memories I have of spending time with my grandparents, most specifically in this case, Grandma Donna and Grandpa Bud. I used to go to their house to spend the night in a "retreat" of many sorts. I have nothing but the fondest of memories of those days and I'm positive Gracie has very similar memories of her retreats as well.

My reminder today was pulling away after dropping G off and looking to the huge picture window of my parents' house and seeing Gracie and my mom waving at me as they do every "Grandma Dee" day. It hit me how blessed we all are to enjoy these simple yet life lasting memories. It seems like yesterday that a chubby little toddler waved to me from Grandma Dee's arms as I pulled away. Seeing my little girl, now soon to be 7, wave to me today reminded me of how precious our time with all our friends and family is and how blessed my family has been. I know G will always love her "Grandma Dee" days and remember them fondly.